Mar-a-Lago—An altercation between Trump and a fellow patriot over who was first in line at the Premium Member’s Bistro ended after Trump landed the knockout blow. MAGA supporters in the room claimed victory on Truth Social on behalf of their unconscious leader.
The man involved in the jostling explains, “His eyes told me he would devour me like a Big Mac. It must be low blood sugar or something, but he just started swinging. I stepped back, and that’s when the fight got ugly.”
One witness said, “Well, it wasn’t just one winning punch, it was thousands of little wins. It looked like a baby slapping a wilting pumpkin. Once belly-up, he tried choking himself out, but his hands didn’t have the reach to truly clasp his neck.”
Upon waking, Trump immediately filed a $10 billion lawsuit against his attacker. He settled out of court and called it a tremendous win. “I never concede defeat.”