US President Donald Trump has appointed Novo Nordisk, the manufacturers of Ozempic, to lead the fight against global hunger—a move described as a watershed moment in aid and development circles.
Prior to withdrawing funding to the UN Food Programme, Trump took a swipe at the organisation that feeds the most vulnerable, stating they had one job to do and they failed to deliver.
“Today, despite years of funding, there are still millions, millions of people going hungry. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Ozempic ladies and gentlemen. Ozempic. Ozempic is everywhere. Everywhere but where the people need it most. And that’s sad, truly sad.”
A Whitehouse spokesperson noted that under President Trump’s leadership, the world is on the cusp of shattering barriers previously thought unimaginable. “Today, we solved global hunger with Ozempic. Tomorrow, we’ll fix global poverty by sending those Magic Money Printers from Amazon to the most indebted countries.”
Since Trump’s inauguration, his administration has set a dazzling pace in course correcting four years of stagnation under Biden. The Commander-in-Chief said his global hunger solution was sitting there in plain sight, but those technocrats at the UN couldn’t see it.
“When I look around the room, whether at Mar-a-Lago or on the campaign trail, the results speak for themselves. I must say, American women are looking so fabulous right now, and the Dads, well, their Dad bods are melting away too. And when they speak to me, and they like to speak to me. They say, Mr President, I have a fridge full of food but I haven’t eaten in days. And I say to them, I say, you look better than ever. And it’s true. Ozempic, ladies and gentlemen, it’s truly amazing stuff. It’s the miracle pill for eradicating hunger.”
When pressed on the vulnerability of his solution to the demands of one company, Trump responded, “We are starting with Greenland, but Denmark is the logical next step to be welcomed into the United States. Denmark. Beautiful, beautiful people—no wonder, they invented Ozempic. “